Saying Goodbye Never Gets Easier

This afternoon, we had to say bye to Jared so he could go to PTA for one leg of his pre-deployment training. It never gets any easier having to say bye to half of your heart, no matter how long they will be gone. The rest of the afternoon went according to schedule except every time Gunnar would hear a truck or a banging noise outside (from the mover across the street) he would yell, "daddy home", run to the door and open it for him. Once he realized that Daddy wasnt home at that moment he continued to play until yet again he heard something that he thought was Daddy. It really pulled on my heart strings.
At dinner time, he got up into Daddy's chair and said, "MY DADDY". And wouldnt move from his chair, so I fed him dinner there. Then it was story time, so we read books... 'Over There' (A book about a daddy who has gone off to war), 'Just Like Daddy' and the puppy book. Then it was bath time and Gunnar kept calling out for Daddy. He likes to do belly flops in the tub and kept saying daddy look.

This weekend I had hung up a small 5x8 picture of Jared on the wall at eye level between the slats of this toddler bed so he could just see and feel daddy there- never imagining that this would become his new conversation parnter.
So I put him down to bed, read him some more stories and he looked over at the picture and said, "NightNight Daddy", " I love you Daddy" and "Hi Daddy" about 30 times each. Then he fell asleep with his hand on the picture... I started crying then and there- it was the most precious site I have ever seen in my life. My heart was still in awe of how much those two have bonded in the short 2.5 months Jared has been home since his last deployment. It is times like that you just want to bottle them up and save them for a day when nothing is going right. I will forever remember that moment-- it was a truly humbling moment for me. It made me miss my husband and best friend more than one person could ever imagine. I had felt that Jared and Gunnar had bonded while he had been home, but with the short period of time, I didn't know what the effect was going to be on Gunnar once he left again. I still do not know, since it has only been an afternoon/evening with him gone, but we will soon find out.
I am so grateful to have the loving husband, family and friends that I have to get me through yet another deployment, but realize that I am not the only one who is going through a deployment (or multiple back to back deployments) and some people are not as fortunate to have the support system that I have. It makes me truly appreciate military families even more than I already do. There are no words to describe the feeling of loss or sadness or longing that military families feel every day. My husband is fighting a war that seems to be unappreciated, unsupported, unnoticed by the general public. He is sacrificing every single day, along with hundreds of thousands of other men and women and they, a lot of times, go unappreciated. That is enough of my ranting.

I just wanted to blog about how humbled by a son's love for his father I was tonight. I thank God every day that Jared is the man, husband, father, son, friend and Marine that he is. I love you J. 101